“How do you find friends for your kids on the road?”

As a parent we want the best for our kids. We want them to be healthy, self confident, happy, and for some of us, we want them to have a lot of friends….. And that’s where things start getting complicated. As a social butterfly myself I just naturally assume my kids are supposed to have a lot of friends, like I always had. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Living a life without school, or even a neighborhood for that matter, my kids have become each other’s best friends, but for a while (ok, and somewhat still to this day) I sought out other kids for them to play with. Only it didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t doing it for them….I was doing it for ME.

If you ask my kids, they are perfectly content with their social life. If you ask them if they’d like to have more friends, they just shrug their shoulders, ehhh. It’s not even something that crosses their minds. My kids have taught me that “friends” come in all shapes and sizes…..and species. They don’t have to be of the two legged variety for them to be considered their friends.

While we were with our friends in Colorado, Jewel woke up in a running sprint every morning to play with our friends goat and llama’s. Even the feral cats couldn’t resist her charms. While Jewel chose the stinky friends, the boys enjoyed every minute they could with our fifty-something-year-young host, Dennis. They played Battlefield Bad Company 2 on the Xbox together and just couldn’t get enough of his funny, quirky spirit. There was a mutual respect between those three, and I seriously think when they were together, there was no age difference. They were just….friends.

Still to this day if you ask Jewel who her best friend is, she’ll say, Lisa. Lisa is my forty something friend that we met in a campground about three or four years ago. We still keep in touch, and see each other whenever we can, which isn’t often, but as much as Lisa is my friend, she is also, truly, Jewel’s friend. 

When the boys were younger their cousins were always great friends for them to play with, but now that they’re getting older and the age gap seems to be somehow increasing, the relationships have completely changed. Luckily though, my brother and his wife had an “oops” baby while I was pregnant with Jewel and I have now come to believe that she was put here just for Jewel. Jewel counts down the days on the calendar when we’re in town until the weekend comes, just so she can have Lillie over.

We’ve been to a couple unschooling conferences which we went to under the guise of “it’s for the kids” but none of them led to lasting friendships for them. They were too busy playing with each other.

I have learned there’s no need to try and find them friends, they do just fine on their own.

FOTR Blog Carnival

Leaving Hawaii..…and entering…..

Spring 2003:

January 2005:

September 2010:

 

It’s that time again, time for us to say Good-Bye and fly away. Even though when we came here this time it was with the intention of staying and possibly homesteading, I always knew this time would come.

One thing always rings true: It’s much better to visit than to live 

Joey left the island in August to work in Colorado and the kids and I stayed behind to see how things played out. After a couple weeks it was obvious that we’d be leaving the island for good so the job of packing up the condo and kids fell on me. I was actually looking forward to being the sole discretionary person to decide what goes and what doesn’t, and normally I’m fighting to keep more than he is, yet somehow we left Hawaii with less than we even came with! I decided if we hauled it all the way to Hawaii and never even used it, it got canned. So with less stuff I figured I could handle checking everything on to the plane with us, paying extra baggage fees but saving hundreds in shipping fees. Then three hours before the shuttle was to pick us up I was in a stressful mess…….I couldn’t even get everything into the van let alone haul through an airport!

Joey’s friend, Fish, came by to save the day and offered to take the big stuff that I didn’t need right away to the post office and ship it for me, only leaving us 5 checked bags and 7 carry-on’s. I finally breathed a little easier once we were loaded into the shuttle, just to get to the airport to have to unload everything onto a rental cart, then load it onto the conveyer belt for agriculture inspection, then back on to the cart over to ticketing. There I had to unload the heavy bags, that were on the bottom, for weighing and tagging for check-in, then back on to the cart to take it over to the check-in belt. Then unload the cart once again to finally get them out of my hands, and of course put the carry-on’s back on the cart. And the stuff that didn’t fit on the cart, I had to carry. We haven’t even gotten to security yet.

Security, of course, was a nightmare. We must have used at least a dozen of those grey boxes and held up the line at least fifteen minutes. Aside from opening the laptops, they also had to double check the x-box  and controllers because, you know, they look like weapons.

When I booked the flight I didn’t think about the fact that it was a red eye, I just knew it was the cheapest. I actually figured, great! we’ll get to sleep the whole flight and be refreshed and eager to start the new day when we get to Phoenix for our connecting flight to Vegas. I’ve never been sooo wrong in my life! The kids were split up in seats in front of me and I was in a back row seat that wouldn’t lay back. It was stuck straight up and almost leaning forward! I wanted to cry…..again. But even worse the nice old couple next to me were stuck sitting straight up too and I just couldn’t handle that. So….after much debate I finally convinced the old couple to swap seats with Jake and Jewel in front of us so they could at least lean back and have a comfortable flight………. Then with Jake and Jewel beside me I was able to use them as a pillow :-) It was still a miserable flight and after what felt like twenty five hours we finally landed in Phoenix.

We only had forty five minutes to catch our connecting flight and we had to wait for everyone to un board so the stewardess could go to the cockpit and retrieve my hula hoop that I carried on the plane. THEN after making our way to the next flight I realized I had left my fanny pack (that I wore so I wouldn’t lose my most important things) in the magazine holder in front of my seat! The flight attendant wouldn’t let me back on the plane to get it so I had to wait another few minutes for them to take their sweet time to get it for me, and then she had the nerve to tell me…”well, that’s WHY you’re supposed to keep track of your stuff” REALLY?? I thought I did pretty good for not losing my kids at this point.

Somehow we made it through the huge airport to our connecting flight and finally felt everything was going to be alright. Flying over Hoover Dam and Lake Mead was awesome, so awesome that I finally pulled my camera out and snapped some pictures from the air. I text my cousin when we landed so she could head our way to get us, and we then hurried to find the baggage claim. I always try to be super efficient so tried to time my cousin getting there with the same time we’d be walking out the gate, so of course, that seems to put me in a state of stress and slight panic. The bags were taking forever, but we finally started seeing them, so Jake wisely says, “We should unload the cart so we can put the heavy bags on the bottom when they get here” Great idea! So I set my precious camera bag on one of the seats about five feet away and then unloaded the cart onto the ground right beside it. We then get all our big checked items, load them up, put the carry on’s on top, and walk out the gate just in time to see my cousin heading our way. See…my timing is impeccable. I’m so happy to see her after all these years, we hug, I cry, we get in the car and drive away.

A few hours later, at her place, I want to take pictures of everybody and we CANNOT find my camera bag anywhere. I call the airport and all I get is a recording saying they’ll call IF they find it. Amy offers to haul me all the way back to the airport, only to find it gone. GONE! My big camera, my favorite point and shoot, a panoramic camera, multiple lenses, and a laptop……all gone.

Only twenty four hours out of paradise and it felt like I landed in Hell.

Bumper Stickers – Hawaiian Style

This is a popular bumper sticker we saw often on the North Shore. It’s the local’s way of saying they don’t want any more resorts, hotels, freeways, or apartment buildings built. Keep the country….Local!

 

 

 

 

This one is probably even more common, Hawaiian Kingdom.

This homemade billboard is on somebody’s fence right along the Farrington Highway, which pretty much sums up what the Hawaiian Kingdom stickers are for.

In case you can’t read it, the gist of it is: Shame on everyone who bought into the American philosophy. Anyone who accepts America as their statehood is basically working with the enemy. America has taken away their inherent sovereignty. Shame on those that celebrate Statehood and honor the thieves. Thieves that locked up their Queen. Stole their land and beat their ancestors for speaking their native tongue.

Someone asked me recently how the Hawaiians felt about America, or Americans. I hate to admit it, but once you get out of the tourist areas, the above is the general feeling we perceive. I always felt like I stood out, and wasn’t very welcome, but I just put on my rosy glasses and went about my business. I had no proof and some could say it was just my imagination but when I got on an elevator a little while ago and a woman looked at me, then gasped, and said…”wow. a blondie. we don’t see many of them around here.” I knew it wasn’t just in my imagination now. Eventually I broke down the cashiers at the local grocery store and had them laughing with me on occasion, but overall it felt like we were living in a foreign country. I can now say we know a little bit how it feels to be the minority and face discrimination. and it wasn’t very comfortable.

Who knows how many really feel that way, I know it wasn’t the majority, since the majority are mainland transplants anyway, but in the country and heavy Islander populated areas, it’s not uncommon to see Hawaiian Parking Only signs and We were born here, You flew here signs.

Of course, this was more of a silent prejudice for the most part, besides… it was much more fun to find and focus on the good, the beauty, and the funny:

*If you don’t get it, just ask.

White Plains Beach

Annie had been telling us about White Plains Beach for months now, so before we left the island we had to check it out. I didn’t really have any expectations about this beach but she said it’s great for surfing, so we loaded up our two longboards, her SUP, and made our way south for the summer swells. It had been flat all summer on the west coast, so this was Jake’s first chance to surf in months. He was going to use my board but as he was carrying it down to the beach he jumped off a short cement block retaining wall (because I told him to go that way) and as he jumped down the back of the board hit the top of the wall and cracked open! I did the exact same thing my first time carrying that board down to the beach. You’d have thought I’d already learned that lesson. It was a major buzz kill, but Jake attempted Joey’s big ten footer anyway and while it was way too big for him, the boy surfed! and I didn’t get any pictures! but that’s not why he likes it anyway.

Unlike the reef beaches we’d been surfing on this one has a soft sandy bottom, so I was really looking forward to surfing myself but between my cracked board, and Jonas’ foul mood, I wasn’t up for it. Instead I boogie boarded with Jewel for a while and then set off to get a few photos.

I walked over closer to this fence thinking I could try to get a shot of Diamondhead through a chainlink.
And after I get one uninspiring picture that way I look down and see these guys sleeping right in front of me!
Two Hawaiian Monk Seals. Funny how my mood instantly brightened.

There was a man there from a monk preservation society who was making sure no one molested them, and to answer any questions people may have, and to just basically educate. While most people spent a couple minutes taking pictures, and then going back to the beach, Jewel stayed there for probably forty five minutes just soaking up everything he had to say and waiting for this Dad and his Daughter to wake up. They never did, but it was still exciting to be so close to these guys in their natural habitat. The thing Jewel remembers most was the story of how the big one (Dad) got bit by a shark and was able to make himself stop bleeding. Apparently they have a way of cutting off blood flow to wounded areas. Pretty cool.

White Plains gets a two thumbs up but I would definitely recommend not going on the weekend.

I like my beaches a little less crowded.

Diamond Head on Dwellable

Pearl Harbor

Seeing the U.S.S. Arizona is another one of those must do things when visiting Oahu. I had already been there back in ‘02 with Joey and Jewel (then a baby) so I hadn’t really given much thought to going again, then I remembered the boys had never been. And it’s FREE. Now the boys weren’t too excited but after I told them all about the fabulous on site museum, they agreed to go. My friend Annie was supposed to join us, but she couldn’t make it last minute so we just went on ahead anyway. To tell you the truth, I actually prefer things like this without any guests anyway….more focus on the kids.

For once we made it there without getting lost, except that once for directions, only to end up in parking lot hell. Most visitors go by bus so the parking lot is small, and right off the bat I had a tourist steal my parking space I had been waiting for. I wanted to go all Kathy Bates on him but he wouldn’t have understood me anyway so I just continued circling and waiting. Then it happened again! Now it’s just comical so we’re waiting for a third time, but luckily no more thievery and we were finally able to park. We got in, got our ticket for the ferry with thirty minutes to spare to tour the museum…only the museum is closed for construction. Major bummer. We walk over to the U.S.S. Missouri Battleship and decide after the Arizona tour we’ll get tickets and climb aboard it. 

First, we have to walk over to the ferry that’s going to shuttle us out to the sunken ship. It’s just a short walk, but nice views of Pearl Harbor, Ford Island Bridge, and that huge golf ball on stilts that I still haven’t figured out what the heck it is, or when it floated in.

It was a pretty hot wait for the ferry, and to amuse myself I secretly took pictures of the tourists and Jonas.

Jewel is very nervous to get on a moving boat. We visited with a cruising family, S/V Capaz,  while they were in island briefly making their way from the South Pacific to Canada, and Jewel was happy to feel the relative calmness of the yacht in harbor, but she’s anxious to see what it feels like in motion.

  I couldn’t tell her this ferry ride is nothing like a sailboat

I was happy to see these wheelchair clamps on the ferry, knowing that my friend Harli and all her other Angel friends get to see this piece of history up close, and unhindered, just like the rest of us.

  Getting off the ferry onto the platform the Captain instructed everyone to go straight into the memorial building and not to STOP to take ANY pictures from this dock. I can’t stand to be told NOT to do something. This one is from inside the memorial building, looking toward Pearl. That’s the looong Ford Island Bridge in the background. We tried to drive on it only to be turned around at the gate with a stern “This is a military base Ma’am!” I didn’t even get to tell him we just wanted to go to the museum!

Proof I had all three kids with me. And No, I didn’t notice they were all in blue until just now. We were getting a little, umm…bored at this point. So I took a cue from Tiffani, one of my favorite photographers, and decided to punch things up a bit.

  

I have a picture of Jewel in front of this anchor( it was in a different location then) when she was a baby, but darnit, can’t find it right now.

  It was a hot day, and by the time we got done with the Arizona tour we were no longer as interested in checking out the Missouri so decided to find some lunch instead. I ended up finding a parking garage so assumed there was a mall attached to it, with a food court, but even better was an extra long moving ramp. With no security in sight. The kids had a blast on the moving ramp and declared that the highlight of the day.

We topped off the day at this gorgeous little roadside park.

The T at the end is hollow, and inside is where Jonas can be found, while Jake supervises.

Sun. Sand. Surf……. So this is what pure bliss feels like.

Ewa Beach on Dwellable

Six Months

It's been six months since we "moved" to Hawaii. I tried so hard to let it be known that we LIVED here, dammit, and were not just tourists. Why that was important to me, I still can't exactly figure out. What makes it even worse when I think about it is the fact that the Hawaiians actually LIKE the tourists. They visit, and then go home. What they don't like are people like us that move here, and worse yet, get one of the precious, hard to come by, J.O.B.S's.

Now after living here in Hawaii all this time I've begun to question the fact if I even consider myself living here anymore. Obviously I live here and have the rent and utility bills to prove it, but I am constantly looking for a new waterfall to uncover or a new mountain to drag my family up. Even if it's just a cell phone, I always have a camera on me, and almost always come home with at least one picture.....even if it is just of the food I picked up at the 7-11. I listen with HUGE ears wide-open any and every time I speak with a local, hoping to learn a little bit more about their culture, the names of the flowers and how they really feel about the United States.

I'm still learning these things, but in the process, have learned something about myself.

I AM A TOURIST.

A BIG FAT APPRECIATIVE ONE.

Turtle Beach

Tucked in between two small resorts is a beautiful, clean, and soft, sandy beach that some call Turtle Beach. We first discovered it back in ‘04 when we scored a week stay for free in the below condo. Up until then our stays had always been in either the Plantations or the Towers, up country. It was beyond our wildest dreams to actually stay right on the beach. During that week the waves were insane, too! I remember sitting on the lanai (patio) watching the huge waves, grow bigger by the day. That’s also when I learned that each size wave brings out a different group of beach goers. The large waves by the rest of the world’s standards, but small by Hawaiian standards would bring out the elementary school kids. The next day with larger waves brought out all the junior high kids. By the times the waves were so huge that they decided to just cancel school since no one was showing up anyway, brought out ALL the high school kids and twenty something’s. We’d have front row views of boogie boarders doing tricks in the extremely dangerous shorebreaks, and of the unsuspecting tourists losing their tops! It was better than T.V. We saw one girl lose her top and her boyfriend was more concerned with covering her up then getting safely out of the water so then they’d both take another pounding. It wasn’t funny, I know, but we laughed so much just from people watching from up there.

This stay was also the time I was snorkeling out about a hundred fifty feet from shore when a sea turtle popped up out of the water right next me. I yelled to Joey on shore who immediately brought Jonas, who was five at the time, out to me, making it both of our’s first time swimming with a sea turtle. I can still remember his excitement! The turtle swam with us for a while, diving below to grab algae from the rocks then coming up for air, within inches of us. I wanted to touch him but we were too chicken, besides I think it’s illegal. He didn’t seem to mind us being there at all, either. That is until he decided to dive below us and then relieve himself! We literally had to move quick to get out of his torpedo zone. For the record, turtle poop looks just like human poop ….and it floats. You’re welcome.

We’ve been back to this beach a few times this trip, with two of the times being right after hiking Maunalahilahi. Once with Jewel, and the last time after completing the hike with Joey. And then this time with the kids.

Each time we’ve floated on the water and said “I could just lay like this forever”.

It is such a relaxing place.

Jonas is snorkeling, while Jake lets the waves softly push him up the beach.

And Jewel lets the shorebreak gently tumble her over.

The only downfall is knowing that there could be people up there on their lanai’s watching ……..and waiting. And with my track record, it’s just a matter of time before I do something to embarrass myself or anyone around me, so yeah…….we don’t go here too much.

Turtle Bay on Dwellable

Catch with a Crustacean

This morning while the kids slept, the adults big kids, went for another early walk along the beach, and I’m happy to report no jellyfish this time. Speaking of jellyfish…..we met a lot of local folks that didn’t even know about the monthly jellyfish invasion which resulted in about a hundred people island wide getting stung. With thirty of them happening on Makaha Beach alone! We met one of them the other morning while talking story with Joey’s friend Fish, while at the beach. This local named, Tim, had been spear fishing that morning when he got stung on the only part of himself that wasn’t protected, his face. He said he had to swim over half an hour to get to the nearest house and then for whatever reason, they shooed him away! They wouldn’t help him. Luckily he had a lifeguard friend that lived nearby so he went to his place and he poured boiling hot water on his face to stop the stinging, and Tim said it helped. He also said he was really struggling to swim, as he was in such intense pain and felt like his muscles were trying to paralyze. It took him this whole week to recover, but we could still see the scar. I don’t think he’ll ever go out without a face cover again!

Anyway, this morning was much more playful. After resting our burning calves while sitting along the shore, little crabs started coming out of their holes. As soon as they’d see us they’d hurry back down, except this one. He just sat on top of his hole staring at us, so eventually I threw a little stone his way to see what he’d do, and to my surprise he chased after it like a puppy dog! He quickly got on top of that thing and hugged it as tight as he could. Thinking that was just a freak thing he did, we tried another pebble….and he immediately abandoned the first stone in favor of the new one. Then he did it again, and again, and again.

After a while we felt we teased the poor thing long enough so we continued on, only to find another brave crab farther down the beach. What are the odds to run into two crazy crabs in one day? Normally they’re gone before you can even spot them, and here we have another one just staring us down. This one was bigger and wasn’t interested in stones though, he was looking for a fight.

Joey slowly lowered his keys above him and he tried with all his might to get them. After a few failed attempts he’d run away from Joey backwards. But a crab running backwards results in him doing backwards somersaults. So he’d run, and then flip, then prance up real high on his tippy claws and run again, and flip backwards again. But he always came back to Joey for more. He could have easily ran back in his hole, but I guess he was probably having a little fun with us, too. (I just wish I would have had video on my phone, so you could see these silly crabs in action, too.)

Eventually the crab won, and Joey walked away in defeat.

**PS** No crustaceans were harmed in the making of this blog post

Sand Island – Now & Then

Maunawili Falls

Maunawili Falls is listed as being an easy hike, so I thought it sounded like a great hike for the whole family. A leisurely stroll out to a small waterfall with deep, cool pools. Who could resist that? Well, the boys could, but I have to remind them there are other things in life besides video games. It’s a tough sell these days.

The trail starts off walking through mostly coffee and mountain apple trees, but I honestly don’t know what’s what. Just many shades of green, in even more shapes and sizes, and when we’d finally bust through a grove we’d have these great views of the cloud topped Ko'olaus Mountains.

The path was well worn, and mostly followed the creek up towards the falls.

Then we’d have to cross the creek which is always fun, but deciding which path to take once we got to the other side was never an easy decision. The trail is mostly unmarked so we just hoped we made the right choices.

Then more thick jungle followed by another stream to cross. We’re like Frogger crossing these boulders, only instead of watching for cars we had to watch for slippery rocks.

Or in Jewel’s case, someone to guard her goggles and sticks for her.

Jewel had no choice but to swing on her first natural tree swing.

She was made for this.Joey’s Field of Dreams

Oh look!….Another creek to cross!

but then the whole trail got a little twisted

AND THEN WE MET THE STAIRMASTER

Those stairs seemed to go on forever. Just when we thought we were done, around the bend would be another set of “stairs”. But we did finally make it to the top, and Jewel took a much deserved “breather” What gorgeous views we had walking across the ridge!

The waterfall is somewhere down inside this valley, right around in the middle of the picture is my best guess

At this point Jacob had taken off ahead and left the rest of us behind, including Jonas, who was struggling. It’s also at this point that we determine that this should be a breeze for a ten year old boy so the fact that he was having a hard time is worrying Joey and I a little. A few months ago he would have kept up with Jacob. After making it all the way up, we were surprised to have to now go back down. I wasn’t even sure we were going in the right direction, and not having Jacob with us starts making me pretty nervous. Who knows which way he went?! Is he on the right trail even? Not liking that! Then at the bottom we hit yet another creek and another trail, both leading in opposite directions. We decide to stay awhile for someone else to come along and hope they knew which way to go. I wasn’t happy to see it was straight up the creek, over the boulders. A little ways in though we found a trail, and we could hear kids laughing in the distance.

Then we saw all the kids, and Jake there waiting for us. Such a relief. But THIS is the waterfall??

I wasn’t expecting to be in this closed in little valley with one hundred foot rock walls on either side of us. I also wasn’t expecting so many kids!                                                                                                             Naturally, I wanted to jump but as you can see from this picture, it felt a little too much like Mystery Science Theatre to me. I wasn’t getting up there and having all the critics in the front row making fun, or the paparazzi snapping photos.                                                                                                                         

Here’s Jake patiently sitting and waiting his turn while the bigger kids jump off the walls from both sides. Most of the kids on the waterfall are just hanging out, or just jumping from there. You can’t see the ones that climb way up, until they’re plunging in the water. THAT was pretty cool to see.

Here’s a short little clip of Jonas from his jump off the walls, and his reaction afterwards.

We swam in the pool and watched everyone jump for about an hour then slowly started making our way backWe tried to stop and eat but the mosquitoes quickly started attacking us so we had to eat on the move

I knew to bring bug spray, but completely forgot. We all paid for that.

Going down is much easier, and it seems Jonas had caught his second wind. Or else tree branch jungle gyms are just too exciting to pass up no matter how exhausted you are.

On the way back I finally figured out it was easier to walk barefoot and simply walk through the creeks instead of trying to balance myself on the boulders with camera in one hand and Jewel’s collections in the other.

Occasionally we got a reprieve from the brown and green and saw some other colors, too

Overall, this was a great hike, one that I definitely want to do again, only the next time I will be sure to go while school is in session.

Kailua on Dwellable