“How do you find friends for your kids on the road?”

As a parent we want the best for our kids. We want them to be healthy, self confident, happy, and for some of us, we want them to have a lot of friends….. And that’s where things start getting complicated. As a social butterfly myself I just naturally assume my kids are supposed to have a lot of friends, like I always had. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Living a life without school, or even a neighborhood for that matter, my kids have become each other’s best friends, but for a while (ok, and somewhat still to this day) I sought out other kids for them to play with. Only it didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t doing it for them….I was doing it for ME.

If you ask my kids, they are perfectly content with their social life. If you ask them if they’d like to have more friends, they just shrug their shoulders, ehhh. It’s not even something that crosses their minds. My kids have taught me that “friends” come in all shapes and sizes…..and species. They don’t have to be of the two legged variety for them to be considered their friends.

While we were with our friends in Colorado, Jewel woke up in a running sprint every morning to play with our friends goat and llama’s. Even the feral cats couldn’t resist her charms. While Jewel chose the stinky friends, the boys enjoyed every minute they could with our fifty-something-year-young host, Dennis. They played Battlefield Bad Company 2 on the Xbox together and just couldn’t get enough of his funny, quirky spirit. There was a mutual respect between those three, and I seriously think when they were together, there was no age difference. They were just….friends.

Still to this day if you ask Jewel who her best friend is, she’ll say, Lisa. Lisa is my forty something friend that we met in a campground about three or four years ago. We still keep in touch, and see each other whenever we can, which isn’t often, but as much as Lisa is my friend, she is also, truly, Jewel’s friend. 

When the boys were younger their cousins were always great friends for them to play with, but now that they’re getting older and the age gap seems to be somehow increasing, the relationships have completely changed. Luckily though, my brother and his wife had an “oops” baby while I was pregnant with Jewel and I have now come to believe that she was put here just for Jewel. Jewel counts down the days on the calendar when we’re in town until the weekend comes, just so she can have Lillie over.

We’ve been to a couple unschooling conferences which we went to under the guise of “it’s for the kids” but none of them led to lasting friendships for them. They were too busy playing with each other.

I have learned there’s no need to try and find them friends, they do just fine on their own.

FOTR Blog Carnival

Utah to Colorado – Sept. 2010

We ended up leaving Roosevelt after those two nights, but not before Joey determined I needed new tires for my car. (I sure am glad he thinks to check things like that.) While we waited for my tires Jewel spent her time in Dinosaur Country chasing Dinosaur Grasshoppers, and I got reacquainted with multi colored landscapes. Being in Hawaii all that time I forgot there were colors other than green and blue.

We decided to head to our familiar stomping grounds of Colorado and made our first pit stop before even leaving Utah. Since we were in no hurry we walked around this desolate spot along the small highway for a bit and found all sorts of neat things. One being this huge cave on the other side of a large wash:

Then there was a partially decomposed Elk

And a not so lucky Raccoon’s tail

When we crossed from the prehistoric land of northeastern Utah into Colorado it was like the landscape changed immediately. Along this two lane mountain highway Joey pulled over because he knew I would just love this view. He was right. I loved it so much I ran across the highway to snap a few pictures, only on my way back I wasn’t paying attention at all until I heard him scream at me….RUN!!….. Instead, I froze, but luckily the truck swerved, coming within inches of almost hitting me. As if I wasn’t shook up enough over that, the rest of the drive down this mountain was littered with falling rocks, and not just rocks, but large boulders.  Thank goodness we didn’t have any oncoming traffic during all the times we had to swerve to avoid the boulders.

Soon enough though we were down in familiar, beautiful, Grand Junction, CO. (I still have yet to climb that mountain!)

I just keep following my Man In His Truck toward one of our favorite places in Colorado, Parachute.

We have friends that are like family that live there, so we went to visit with them while we continue our hunt for the new RV.

Vegas to Utah – Sept. 2010

Before I discovered my missing camera bag, I had taken this one shot of Jonas, with my Droid, snuggled up on my cousin’s couch with her cat. After our sleepless night on the plane it took him less than five minutes to crash.

Then, after I finally uncurled myself off Amy’s couch (three days later) I got on Craigslist to find myself a new car. I was hoping to find a decent conversion van but ended up finding a cute little economical wagon instead. I bought it on the spot, in the dark, and even though they told me I had to go to the DMV in the morning and get my own plates since they were taking theirs, I said screw it and decided to take my chances driving up to Joey in Utah with no plates and nothing but bubble gum holding the Bill of Sale to the rear window.

Just getting back on the road really lightened my spirits and by the time we hit Antelope Canyon along the Arizona, Nevada, and Utah border I was pretty much recovered from my huge loss. I was happy to be back on the road again, and seeing this beautiful country. Plus, I still had the Droid to take pictures with so all was not lost. I also discovered on this trip what it was like to no longer have a gas guzzling Hummer, Dually truck, Bluebird Bus, or Excursion. What a treat! I probably paid less for this car plus the gas than I would I have paid in any one of my previous vehicles, just in gas to get across town!

I was so beat after the 523 mile trip to Roosevelt, UT that when the hotel clerk accidentally charged us for two nights instead of the one I asked for, we didn’t even make her change it. I remember the customer behind us saying, “wow, must be nice to be able to just be, ‘oh well…we’ll take two nights instead’.”

Little did he know that that was as far ahead as we had planned at that point. The next day began the search for a new RV since we were officially back on the road.

Bumper Stickers – Hawaiian Style

This is a popular bumper sticker we saw often on the North Shore. It’s the local’s way of saying they don’t want any more resorts, hotels, freeways, or apartment buildings built. Keep the country….Local!

 

 

 

 

This one is probably even more common, Hawaiian Kingdom.

This homemade billboard is on somebody’s fence right along the Farrington Highway, which pretty much sums up what the Hawaiian Kingdom stickers are for.

In case you can’t read it, the gist of it is: Shame on everyone who bought into the American philosophy. Anyone who accepts America as their statehood is basically working with the enemy. America has taken away their inherent sovereignty. Shame on those that celebrate Statehood and honor the thieves. Thieves that locked up their Queen. Stole their land and beat their ancestors for speaking their native tongue.

Someone asked me recently how the Hawaiians felt about America, or Americans. I hate to admit it, but once you get out of the tourist areas, the above is the general feeling we perceive. I always felt like I stood out, and wasn’t very welcome, but I just put on my rosy glasses and went about my business. I had no proof and some could say it was just my imagination but when I got on an elevator a little while ago and a woman looked at me, then gasped, and said…”wow. a blondie. we don’t see many of them around here.” I knew it wasn’t just in my imagination now. Eventually I broke down the cashiers at the local grocery store and had them laughing with me on occasion, but overall it felt like we were living in a foreign country. I can now say we know a little bit how it feels to be the minority and face discrimination. and it wasn’t very comfortable.

Who knows how many really feel that way, I know it wasn’t the majority, since the majority are mainland transplants anyway, but in the country and heavy Islander populated areas, it’s not uncommon to see Hawaiian Parking Only signs and We were born here, You flew here signs.

Of course, this was more of a silent prejudice for the most part, besides… it was much more fun to find and focus on the good, the beauty, and the funny:

*If you don’t get it, just ask.

White Plains Beach

Annie had been telling us about White Plains Beach for months now, so before we left the island we had to check it out. I didn’t really have any expectations about this beach but she said it’s great for surfing, so we loaded up our two longboards, her SUP, and made our way south for the summer swells. It had been flat all summer on the west coast, so this was Jake’s first chance to surf in months. He was going to use my board but as he was carrying it down to the beach he jumped off a short cement block retaining wall (because I told him to go that way) and as he jumped down the back of the board hit the top of the wall and cracked open! I did the exact same thing my first time carrying that board down to the beach. You’d have thought I’d already learned that lesson. It was a major buzz kill, but Jake attempted Joey’s big ten footer anyway and while it was way too big for him, the boy surfed! and I didn’t get any pictures! but that’s not why he likes it anyway.

Unlike the reef beaches we’d been surfing on this one has a soft sandy bottom, so I was really looking forward to surfing myself but between my cracked board, and Jonas’ foul mood, I wasn’t up for it. Instead I boogie boarded with Jewel for a while and then set off to get a few photos.

I walked over closer to this fence thinking I could try to get a shot of Diamondhead through a chainlink.
And after I get one uninspiring picture that way I look down and see these guys sleeping right in front of me!
Two Hawaiian Monk Seals. Funny how my mood instantly brightened.

There was a man there from a monk preservation society who was making sure no one molested them, and to answer any questions people may have, and to just basically educate. While most people spent a couple minutes taking pictures, and then going back to the beach, Jewel stayed there for probably forty five minutes just soaking up everything he had to say and waiting for this Dad and his Daughter to wake up. They never did, but it was still exciting to be so close to these guys in their natural habitat. The thing Jewel remembers most was the story of how the big one (Dad) got bit by a shark and was able to make himself stop bleeding. Apparently they have a way of cutting off blood flow to wounded areas. Pretty cool.

White Plains gets a two thumbs up but I would definitely recommend not going on the weekend.

I like my beaches a little less crowded.

Diamond Head on Dwellable

Diamond Head Crater

 

Diamond Head Crater is probably THE most recognizable landmark in all of Oahu. We see it from thirty miles away as we leave the Westside and hit the South Shore, yet as noticeable and famous as it is, there was nothing really drawing me to it. It was just another tourist trap that I needed to avoid, in my mind. Then I saw a picture taken from the top. Two days later we were hiking it.

We opted to drive into the crater, through a tunnel, and pay the 5$ parking fee. Otherwise people park outside or take The Bus, and add a long walk in the heat, on hot blacktop. No thank you. Our first view of the top is just shortly after the trailhead entrance, way up there in the top right of the above photo. I’m so used to green Hawaii I sure wasn’t expecting all this brown, but apparently they don’t get much rain over here.

It starts off long, winding, dusty and hot. And did I say hot and dusty?

This was our first time using the Camelbak we bought from the Pearl City Goodwill…… four months ago. Can I get a big YeeHaw! for the Camelbak? The kids actually semi-fought over who would carry it! I’m used to carrying frozen bottles of water for everyone so this was a NICE change for me. I didn’t carry anything but my camera.

About halfway up we started seeing views of the interior that really started to define the crater, along with stunning views of all the houses creeping up the hillsides.

Just when we were panting good and hard, we hit our first set of stairs.

Which led us into a 225 foot long tunnel, to another set of even steeper and longer stairs.

Can you see how excited Jewel is about this set of stairs?

 

She’s actually fretting over how much she’s sweating.

And where in the world is Jake? As hard as he tried, he couldn’t go as slow as us, and after finally completing all the stairs and then a three story high spiral staircase in an old Army bunker, we finally met up with him at the top. Only it wasn’t the TOP, top.

We popped out at a bunker opening and then the boys decided to just stay there while Jewel and I went on to the very top bunker.

We also met back up with Annie, who also felt that Jonas, Jewel and I were too slow and had taken off ahead of us with Jake.

They enjoyed some much needed shade time, while overlooking Waikiki.

Jewel and I went on and faced the crowd at the top on our own.

Jewel is modeling the view directly south, and then as we make our walk back down the view is to the northeast, which includes, I believe, Cocohead Crater. (Another hike I would like to do before leaving the island).

Ahhhh…..heading down is so much easier. It’s so easy that it’s easy to get careless, and in my magnificent hiking shoes (strappy crocs), I slipped right on some loose gravel and landed right on my butt! But I was like a cat and bounced up so fast the people behind me barely had time to gasp.

I ran before I could hear them laugh.

Upon returning to the trailhead the kids always seem to have enough energy to climb trees. Hmmmm.

After resting in the shade for a while we left to grab some food and ended up finding a perfect spot, right along Ala Wai Canal in downtown Honolulu, to have a peaceful, shady picnic lunch.

Overall impressions of the Diamond Head hike:

Jake: Long and sweaty

Jonas: Ehhh…..there was hardly anything at the end…….and…….I’m not a big fan of hikes.

Jewel: Yeah! I really liked it! but it did make me tired.

Me: Better than expected! Would be even better if done very early in the morning, when it’s cooler and with less people. I loved it for the uniqueness of the stairs and the tunnels and the switchbacks, and of course the gorgeous views at the top. I also disagree about it being a tourist trap, we learned a lot about the Military’s history in this crater that we didn’t even know existed beforehand. So…..good for the body, good for the mind, good for the senses, and good for the soul. That’s what I call a Good Hike.

Diamond Head Beach Hotel on Dwellable

I'm That Mom

I'm that mom that let's her kids watch TV and play video games to their heart's content. I also do not have parental controls over the Internets. They've all been huge learning resources in our home, as much as they've been entertainment. I believe in broadening their horizons, not limiting them.

I'm also the mom that is not the least bit threatened to know that, as a homeschooling mom, I didn't teach them a thing. They learned it all for themselves.

I'm also the mom of very long haired boys. I DO believe it is up to them, and they DO have a say-so. I care how they look, but I care more about how they feel.

I'm the mom of kids that like to use cuss words. I'm happy that my kids feel safe to be themselves and express themselves however they want, and equally happy that they are choosey in who they allow to hear those words.

I'm also a short order cook. I show them how to make most of their favorite things, and put these things within their reach, but I also realize it always tastes better when Mom makes it. So, yeah....I'm THAT mom.

I'm also the mom that sat and listened and talked with a nine year old girl at the pool the other day, and within five minutes she asked me, "Can you be my mom?"

I remember many times as a kid saying, when I'm a Mom I'll never "X", or I'll do "Y". Of course then I would just hear, "What until you're a Mom! Then you'll see!"

I'm happy to say it is possible to be.... THAT mom and still have great kids.

** This post was inspired by Ronnie's spontaneous blog carnival idea inspired by Flo's post.

*** Leave it to unschoolers to start an impromptu blog Carnival

**** Cause you can't plan shizz this good

***** I'm also that mom that is last to join the party

Turtle Beach

Tucked in between two small resorts is a beautiful, clean, and soft, sandy beach that some call Turtle Beach. We first discovered it back in ‘04 when we scored a week stay for free in the below condo. Up until then our stays had always been in either the Plantations or the Towers, up country. It was beyond our wildest dreams to actually stay right on the beach. During that week the waves were insane, too! I remember sitting on the lanai (patio) watching the huge waves, grow bigger by the day. That’s also when I learned that each size wave brings out a different group of beach goers. The large waves by the rest of the world’s standards, but small by Hawaiian standards would bring out the elementary school kids. The next day with larger waves brought out all the junior high kids. By the times the waves were so huge that they decided to just cancel school since no one was showing up anyway, brought out ALL the high school kids and twenty something’s. We’d have front row views of boogie boarders doing tricks in the extremely dangerous shorebreaks, and of the unsuspecting tourists losing their tops! It was better than T.V. We saw one girl lose her top and her boyfriend was more concerned with covering her up then getting safely out of the water so then they’d both take another pounding. It wasn’t funny, I know, but we laughed so much just from people watching from up there.

This stay was also the time I was snorkeling out about a hundred fifty feet from shore when a sea turtle popped up out of the water right next me. I yelled to Joey on shore who immediately brought Jonas, who was five at the time, out to me, making it both of our’s first time swimming with a sea turtle. I can still remember his excitement! The turtle swam with us for a while, diving below to grab algae from the rocks then coming up for air, within inches of us. I wanted to touch him but we were too chicken, besides I think it’s illegal. He didn’t seem to mind us being there at all, either. That is until he decided to dive below us and then relieve himself! We literally had to move quick to get out of his torpedo zone. For the record, turtle poop looks just like human poop ….and it floats. You’re welcome.

We’ve been back to this beach a few times this trip, with two of the times being right after hiking Maunalahilahi. Once with Jewel, and the last time after completing the hike with Joey. And then this time with the kids.

Each time we’ve floated on the water and said “I could just lay like this forever”.

It is such a relaxing place.

Jonas is snorkeling, while Jake lets the waves softly push him up the beach.

And Jewel lets the shorebreak gently tumble her over.

The only downfall is knowing that there could be people up there on their lanai’s watching ……..and waiting. And with my track record, it’s just a matter of time before I do something to embarrass myself or anyone around me, so yeah…….we don’t go here too much.

Turtle Bay on Dwellable

Pray 4 Something

  This is by far our favorite beach, and even though we call the beach barking sands, we don’t actually know the official name for this particular spot, this rocky spot that houses those bathtubs the kids love to play in.

One day we were out here when the water was not this calm and after testing out the pools for a bit decided they were just too big of a risk to enjoy. At he same time there was a young couple from Japan walking on the beach who just happened to see Joey coming out of one of the tubs. They went in them right after we got out, while the water was calm, so had no idea they’d soon get a swell washing over them. It wasn’t a pretty sight. He got pushed into her, pinning her to the side of the pool, and then the water was so strong it drug them right out of the pool, belly side down over the lava rocks, dragging him on top of her. I felt bad for her little skinny self, but hope they learned to watch the waves for a while first.

In the above photo I’m standing on the rocks, above the cave, that’s in the below photo.

The cave that Joey noticed tunneled below the rock and said that one day when the water wasn’t so rough he was going to see how far he could get in that tunnel.

Jewel beat him to it.

With the help of some little local boys, which she was so shy to talk to, they showed her the way.

We also carefully climbed that big rock in the center…….just to take in the views.

The local teenagers like to jump from this rock, something that we see more and more of everywhere now that the huge winter swells are gone.

And now we officially know the name of this great little spot. I had heard there was a place the locals called Pray 4 Sex but never knew where it was, and now thanks to some local vagrants not only have they revealed the location for us but they’ve solved my biggest dilemma for me (as to what to call this spot) ……………………. Only, since this is the, approximately, two feet of water they’re jumping into below, I think I’d be praying for something else!  

                                                                           

Another time Joey and I were out here alone with only another person or two within sight, just floating in the water and then walking in the sand, when a man from Iowa walked up to us, completely puzzled, asking:

Why is there nobody out here?

We’re still trying to figure that out ourselves, but ……………we’re not complaining.