“How do you find friends for your kids on the road?”

As a parent we want the best for our kids. We want them to be healthy, self confident, happy, and for some of us, we want them to have a lot of friends….. And that’s where things start getting complicated. As a social butterfly myself I just naturally assume my kids are supposed to have a lot of friends, like I always had. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Living a life without school, or even a neighborhood for that matter, my kids have become each other’s best friends, but for a while (ok, and somewhat still to this day) I sought out other kids for them to play with. Only it didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t doing it for them….I was doing it for ME.

If you ask my kids, they are perfectly content with their social life. If you ask them if they’d like to have more friends, they just shrug their shoulders, ehhh. It’s not even something that crosses their minds. My kids have taught me that “friends” come in all shapes and sizes…..and species. They don’t have to be of the two legged variety for them to be considered their friends.

While we were with our friends in Colorado, Jewel woke up in a running sprint every morning to play with our friends goat and llama’s. Even the feral cats couldn’t resist her charms. While Jewel chose the stinky friends, the boys enjoyed every minute they could with our fifty-something-year-young host, Dennis. They played Battlefield Bad Company 2 on the Xbox together and just couldn’t get enough of his funny, quirky spirit. There was a mutual respect between those three, and I seriously think when they were together, there was no age difference. They were just….friends.

Still to this day if you ask Jewel who her best friend is, she’ll say, Lisa. Lisa is my forty something friend that we met in a campground about three or four years ago. We still keep in touch, and see each other whenever we can, which isn’t often, but as much as Lisa is my friend, she is also, truly, Jewel’s friend. 

When the boys were younger their cousins were always great friends for them to play with, but now that they’re getting older and the age gap seems to be somehow increasing, the relationships have completely changed. Luckily though, my brother and his wife had an “oops” baby while I was pregnant with Jewel and I have now come to believe that she was put here just for Jewel. Jewel counts down the days on the calendar when we’re in town until the weekend comes, just so she can have Lillie over.

We’ve been to a couple unschooling conferences which we went to under the guise of “it’s for the kids” but none of them led to lasting friendships for them. They were too busy playing with each other.

I have learned there’s no need to try and find them friends, they do just fine on their own.

FOTR Blog Carnival

Pearl Harbor

Seeing the U.S.S. Arizona is another one of those must do things when visiting Oahu. I had already been there back in ‘02 with Joey and Jewel (then a baby) so I hadn’t really given much thought to going again, then I remembered the boys had never been. And it’s FREE. Now the boys weren’t too excited but after I told them all about the fabulous on site museum, they agreed to go. My friend Annie was supposed to join us, but she couldn’t make it last minute so we just went on ahead anyway. To tell you the truth, I actually prefer things like this without any guests anyway….more focus on the kids.

For once we made it there without getting lost, except that once for directions, only to end up in parking lot hell. Most visitors go by bus so the parking lot is small, and right off the bat I had a tourist steal my parking space I had been waiting for. I wanted to go all Kathy Bates on him but he wouldn’t have understood me anyway so I just continued circling and waiting. Then it happened again! Now it’s just comical so we’re waiting for a third time, but luckily no more thievery and we were finally able to park. We got in, got our ticket for the ferry with thirty minutes to spare to tour the museum…only the museum is closed for construction. Major bummer. We walk over to the U.S.S. Missouri Battleship and decide after the Arizona tour we’ll get tickets and climb aboard it. 

First, we have to walk over to the ferry that’s going to shuttle us out to the sunken ship. It’s just a short walk, but nice views of Pearl Harbor, Ford Island Bridge, and that huge golf ball on stilts that I still haven’t figured out what the heck it is, or when it floated in.

It was a pretty hot wait for the ferry, and to amuse myself I secretly took pictures of the tourists and Jonas.

Jewel is very nervous to get on a moving boat. We visited with a cruising family, S/V Capaz,  while they were in island briefly making their way from the South Pacific to Canada, and Jewel was happy to feel the relative calmness of the yacht in harbor, but she’s anxious to see what it feels like in motion.

  I couldn’t tell her this ferry ride is nothing like a sailboat

I was happy to see these wheelchair clamps on the ferry, knowing that my friend Harli and all her other Angel friends get to see this piece of history up close, and unhindered, just like the rest of us.

  Getting off the ferry onto the platform the Captain instructed everyone to go straight into the memorial building and not to STOP to take ANY pictures from this dock. I can’t stand to be told NOT to do something. This one is from inside the memorial building, looking toward Pearl. That’s the looong Ford Island Bridge in the background. We tried to drive on it only to be turned around at the gate with a stern “This is a military base Ma’am!” I didn’t even get to tell him we just wanted to go to the museum!

Proof I had all three kids with me. And No, I didn’t notice they were all in blue until just now. We were getting a little, umm…bored at this point. So I took a cue from Tiffani, one of my favorite photographers, and decided to punch things up a bit.

  

I have a picture of Jewel in front of this anchor( it was in a different location then) when she was a baby, but darnit, can’t find it right now.

  It was a hot day, and by the time we got done with the Arizona tour we were no longer as interested in checking out the Missouri so decided to find some lunch instead. I ended up finding a parking garage so assumed there was a mall attached to it, with a food court, but even better was an extra long moving ramp. With no security in sight. The kids had a blast on the moving ramp and declared that the highlight of the day.

We topped off the day at this gorgeous little roadside park.

The T at the end is hollow, and inside is where Jonas can be found, while Jake supervises.

Sun. Sand. Surf……. So this is what pure bliss feels like.

Ewa Beach on Dwellable

Makapu’u Tidepools

When it came to looking for hikes on Oahu I was first focused primarily on the most popular hikes, then I switched to hikes that ended with a waterfall. After doing a few waterfall hikes here I learned that Oahu is indeed not a great island for spectacular waterfalls. While I’ve enjoyed the hike itself much more than the waterfalls, the kids want that special treat at the end. So, I was pretty excited when I found this secret route to the Makapu’u tidepools and then when I mentioned to the kids that we would be getting up early the next morning to do it, they were all equally eager for it.

The kids and I had done the hike out to the Makapu’u lighthouse back when we were here in 2004, but I never knew about the deep tidepools down below it. The hike up to the lighthouse was easy since it was paved the whole way, but this secret hike takes you around the mountain, along it’s rocky shoreline.

Isn’t Jonas adorable in his little bonnet?

Anyway, I was so energized to start our day and had planned on leaving at seven, but expected more like eight. We didn’t leave until about nine thirty but since we were hiking to water, I wasn’t too concerned with the late start. Then I miss my very first exit to the other side of the island, but quickly get back on the right road. To then make yet another wrong turn on the other side of the island which forced me back through the mountain, via long tunnel, right back to the other side of the island. I said screw that way, let’s take the loooong way around and enjoy the southeast coast. Finally around NOON we hit the trailhead.

Instinctively the kids took off ahead and headed straight up the road. I had to call them back and tell them we’re going down, not up, this time.

While everyone else went up the road, we veered off this rocky trail and headed straight for Pele’s Chair, that rocky peak straight ahead towards the coast. Some locals stopped us and told us there was no way to get to the pools we were wanting to from this direction, that we’d have to go up to the lighthouse and then straight down the mountainside, but I knew it could be done and was determined to make it happen. Plus I knew walking along the rocky coast would be more fun and scenic anyway then going on a blacktop path.

As usual Jake took off ahead of us and by the time we got to Pele’s Chair I wasn’t even sure where he went. Then he popped around some rocks and also declared the hike along the coast IMPOSSIBLE. Not to be deterred I had to see for myself…of course.

 

While not, impossible….it was WAY too dangerous. After climbing over some questionable rocks that could easily break away with no warning, and then hitting this wall, along with the very large waves battering the coast, I had to agree….. and called off the rest of this hike.

Even if we safely made it past this turn there was just more waiting for us. On a calmer day we could have walked in the water but as it was we would have just been pounded into the rocks. Luckily there was a great little cove to the right of Pele’s Chair where we could at least get in the water and cool off!

We didn’t go the normal beach route though….we had to do it local style! By jumping from the rocks, of course. And as usual….Jonas was the first one to hit the water.

Jake was grumpy because he said he was finally excited about a hike and now we can’t do it, so at first he refused to even join us in the water. The temptation must have become too strong though because he did eventually join us, but he still acted like he was miserable and this place was just NO FUN!

Which the local teenagers would have to disagree wholeheartedly with.

Jumping from a telephone pole stuck into rocks ten feet above the water into a child’s innertube. Now that’s what the locals call FUN! They were also throwing soda bottles on the water and jumping on them to see how high they would rocket back up out of the water.

But there was no pleasing my boy, so we stayed only about thirty minutes. With the promise of Pizza Hut, my new teen did eventually come around to his usual cool self.

First, a quick sightseeing walk along Waimanalo Beach:

Then some fish taco’s with pineapple salsa:

It was a rough day. I enjoyed everything we did, but it’s getting stressful that the boys never seem to want to do ANYTHING anymore except play videogames. All they wanted to do was come to Hawaii, yet I have to beg and plead with them to go to the beach. THE BEACH! What kid doesn’t want to do that? Even when they do go to the beach one of the boys are usually asking to go home within an hour.

I’m being patient, though.

Waimanalo Beach on Dwellable

Manoa Falls

I don’t think it’s any secret that I love to go on hikes. According to my family though, that is all I EVER want to do. Joey says that they’d probably go if I quit asking them all the time. But I know if I stopped asking them they would never  be like, Hey, Mom….Wanna go on a hike? …So I devised a plan. I asked Joey one night if he wanted to see a waterfall the next day. I assured him it can’t be that hard of a hike since I once did it with the kids when they were little, while carrying Jewel in a backpack. In the shape I’m in today, for me to be able to do that, would mean it was a super EASY, SHORT hike. So with that in mind, he agreed and the next morning I told the kids we were going out to see a waterfall, and with their Dad behind me, they were totally up for it.

There aren’t many waterfalls on Oahu, and Manoa Falls is definitely the most popular and easiest hike. To fully be present with the family, and because It’s heavy, I chose to leave my camera at home (but know full well I have my cell phone with me). I have to at least be able to capture the moment! (I got seventy four of them.) We passed eucalyptus trees before entering a lush rainforest, then quickly headed straight up the mountain. The kids realize at this point that we’re on a hike, not just going to see a waterfall. My plan worked…… They are on a hike and now loving it. 

My only problem now was they were moving too fast! Not only was it a climb UP, but it was very muddy. Not even half way up I was getting the look from Joey. The look of, “what did you get me into this time?!” I loved it. I love hiking over tree roots and heaving myself over large boulders, but could have done without the slippery mud.  Our normal pattern is to steadily hike to the location, and then take our time meandering, exploring, and picture taking on the way back down. After this hike I now see the problem with that…..it would have been a lot easier and a lot less guilt inducing on me if we had slowly made our way up hill with lots of breaks, and then quickly gone down the hill. Ehhhh…….the leg burn felt great.

And in only a mile we were at Manoa Falls. All one hundred and fifty feet of her. She lands into a small pool that’s filled with boulders and is prone to landslides and rockfalls so it is forbidden to go in.

Except for her, apparently. We came up on this woman as she was getting out of the pool, and claims to do it often, but said it was very scary that day and didn’t stay in long. Something about the boulders and visibility. 

April 2010

February 2003

 

That’s the boys on the rocks and me holding my baby Jewel over seven years ago. Not only have we changed but the waterfall sure looks a lot different, too!

Jewel washed the mud off her feet and shoes every chance she got. Some things don’t change, she still hates getting dirty. Going down was a lot easier, but it still wasn’t a stroll in the park  

This is the trail in the center of the picture. The plants on the left are actually on a near vertical wall starting right where you see them. One slip on this muddy trail and you’re dropping straight down.

Jake, not remembering our tradition of taking it slow on the way down, took off ahead of us and missed bath

and jungle gym time

Instead he waited in front of this large tree and then had to sit through a Japanese tour guide giving a fifteen minute spiel to his group, right in front of him, with him feeling like a tourist attraction at the Zoo.

You know the saying, It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey getting there? Manoa Falls definitely backs that up. It wouldn’t even have to have the falls at the end, I’d do that hike over and over, just for the scenery along the way. Just typing this post Jewel is asking me if we can go back here………. Our own Land of the Lost

50+ hrs into a 9hr Trip

What an insane drive down to Arizona this has been, and it's not even over yet. We left Moab yesterday morning in a blizzard, woke up this morning in Blanding, about 20 miles away, in another blizzard. During that time there were things like radiator hose leaks, tractor pulling something large and green out of the snow, furnace only blowing cold for all 50 hrs in BLIZZARDS, and calling the police on crazy man from India. 

We tried to pull into the RV park in Blanding, UT last night but after aformentioned tractor/green/snow incident we didn't want to chance their snowpacked lanes so we asked the Super 8 next door, with the big open empty parking lot, if we could plug into their electricity for the night. After agreeing on $20 he let us park and we told him we'd be out by 7 or 8. He tries hanging around and talking with us telling us how he needs us to help him and give him more money. Tries to get us to then buy a room but I stand firm and say we just want the electric plug. He finally relents and leaves us alone.

Then this morning at 7:30 he bangs real loud on the outside of our bus and then runs and hides behind the glass door inside the hotel. So we get dressed, and fire up the bus and when Joey gets outside to go unplug he is out there trying to get another 5$ because we stayed too long and are driving their bill up! Joey's like no, man, we're leaving and then this "security guy" runs over and grabs our cord and yanks it out bending the tongs. He then starts cussing saying "I go call my boss!" Joey's first reaction was to grab him by the throat and pin him down for a minute, but he just snatched the cord back and put it up, all while this guy is yelling and screaming, and all we can make out is "more money' and "help him". We got out of there as fast as our air brakes would pump up and thanked him very much on our way past him.

Let's not forget this is happening in a blizzard. We try to drive out of town but there's no way we're risking it, so pull into the first place that doesn't look like we'll get stuck which just happened to be under a car wash. That our A/C barely made it under. The owner saw us pull in and came over and offered to plug us in and told us he had hot fresh coffee in his laundrymat next door. He refused Joey's money and told us we could stay as long as we needed.  Now how crazy is that?? Not two minutes after fleeing a crazy foreigner demanding we give him more money for something after the fact, to a local man offering up help to stranded travelers with absolutely no benefit for himself. These things can't help but affect us and our children got to witness this all. Of course, it led to discussions all over the map...race, karma, religion, war, assault, prison, compassion, customs, appreciation and relationships. When we talked to the local police about the incident we were not surprised to hear they knew exactly who we were talking about before we even stopped talking. It's amazing the Super 8 in Blanding, UT has any business at all, which according to the parking lot wasn't much anyway.

We ended up staying under the car wash until around 3 when they finally called the roads good. The roads were decent, some hairy parts but nothing bad, but man was it cold!! In order to help keep our toes from getting frostbit I cooked a pizza, then baked some brownies. It did the trick.

We've always known our kids were good travelers but this trip they've proven themselves to be Rock Star Travelers. These guys never complained, and have just taken it all in stride, even laughing with us at the absurdity of it all. Reminds me of the time the kids and I were in a shared hotel room with another mom and her two kids, when the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. After going out into the hall and determining it was indeed an emergency and we needed to evacuate I was able to get my six and eight year olds up and out of bed while I carried my four year old........in about fifteen seconds! On our way out the door I yelled good-bye to my sleeping roommates. We then stood outside shivering in the cold while my boys were barefoot and they did not complain, cry, whine, nothing...not once, while there were other kids crying while they each had a parent holding them wrapped up in comforters. I don't know what it is about these kids of ours, but I sure could take some lessons from them.

We left tuesday late afternoon for a quick 670 mile one nighter drive.....and here we sit two nights later and we've barely made it half way. We could have risked it and probably made it but we're playing it safe these days........not letting anything ruin our dream of getting to Hawaii!

Tonight Tuba City, AZ and hopefully tomorrow Flagstaff is good enough that we can make it to Phoenix.

Change in Plans

Probably not too much of a surprise, but things have changed a little since we last talked. We're no longer buying the new black bus we talked about and have moved back in to the green bus. On Sunday night we got to questioning our plans again, and came to the conclusion that what we REALLY want to do is move to Hawaii. We're about traveled out of the States and we can't afford International travel yet, plus we want to give the kids a chance to grow up somewhere and make friends that they can play with for more than a week, so by Tuesday we had ten boxes shipped to Hawaii, four boxes shipped off to storage in Texas, thirty five bags to the Goodwill, the truck stored at a friend's house, a 2200sf house cleaned spotless, cried good-bye to four cats, loaded up the bus, and were back on the road to Phoenix where we'll visit family & friends for a few days before we leave for our new journey.

We never expected to be moving back into the bus and quite frankly I was expecting some complaining, especially from the always outspoken-not afraid to speak his mind-Jonas, so was surprised upon moving in for Jonas to say, "It feels good to be back in the bus!" I was like, "yeah???". But of course he then followed it up with, "but it feels even better to be moving to Hawaii!"

Bingo! It's all about them. :)

Unschooling myself

I just can't grasp aperture and f stops and shutter speeds and which controls the light and what controls the depth of field. It's all too confusing when in the back of my mind I'm thinking, did I thaw anything out for supper? I usually give up trying completely for a while, and then beat myself up because there's something really wrong with me if I can't make myself get something that I really want to get. The other day I admitted out loud that I just don't think I'm ready for the DSLR. It's too much camera for me.

Later that day the kids were jumping on the trampoline so I figured I'd use their play for a little practice. (The sun was going down so I had to play with light, plus the fast movement.)

Jacob is my inspiration. He doesn't know how to give anything but a nice shot.

He doesn't know it but he's my silent encourager.

These speak Pure Joy.




We're having fun jumping and snapping, until Jonas realizes I'm taking pictures of him, too. Normally he runs off and I stop. Not this time.

He stares right into me and gives me a mean face.

At least what he thinks looks mean.
As he's scowling he's just getting closer to me. Could I ask for better??

It's tough trying to look mean when you're so damn cute!

Give him another ten minutes though and try to take his picture again...

He's pissed now!

He then said: "Delete them"
I cried: "But I can't!"
Him: "Delete them"
Me: "I'm sorry"
Him: "Delete them"
Me: "IT'S LIKE ASKING ME TO CUT OFF MY FINGER...."
He then stormed off and didn't speak to me for twenty four hours.

I'll always have Jacob.


As much as I really wanted to respect his wishes, I just couldn't do it! I may have failed him that day but I truly believe in the long run he, and if not him, his future partner and/or kids, will thank me for it. I cannot let him grow up without any photos of his childhood, that would be regrettable.

Besides learning that I'm a selfish photographer, I learned that adjusting the aperture allows me to control the light. Yay me. Then the next day I tell my dad what I learned and he said "F-stop also controls the amount of light (AND THEY WON'T BE ALL BLURRY)".

I'm back at square one.